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8 Ways to Cope, Stay Alert, & Contribute in This Heavy Season
– Climate change
– Wildfires
– 45
– 45 vs. Biden (ugh)
– Human trafficking
– Antifa
– Social distancing & masks
– Predictions of a civil war after the election
It’s a lot.
It’s a lot and I’m scared too.
I feel like no amount of research will ever bring me to a fully accurate account of whatever topic or situation. There’s always bias. There’s always missing pieces and perspective I don’t see.
I get online and see dear friends ready to vote Trump out of office and yet I’m surrounded in my offline life with Trump 2020 flags everywhere flown by dear neighbors.
It’s extra hard right now to ask questions without some emotionally-charged asshat speaking up to make you feel stupid for not knowing “the” answers—especially when that asshat turns out to be someone you’ve viewed as a dear friend or family.
As hard as it all is, we can’t look away and ignore what’s going on.
That doesn’t help anyone.
Here’s 8 things I’ve learned to cope, stay alert, and contribute in the heavy:
1. Take action with confidence that—in that moment—you said or did the best you knew to do at the time.
2. Know that you have permission to change your mind.
There’s been times I’ve felt one way about something to be presented with insight later that’s changed my mind. Be open to that. It’s not a hit to your pride, it’s growth.
3. Always, always remember there are more experiences and perspectives than your own—many of which you’re in total darkness about.
You don’t know what you don’t know. Allow that to muster up the utmost compassion for those who brazenly oppose the views you have.
4. Don’t take those asshat comments personally.
Their harsh words are rooted in pain or fear or both. It’s not an excuse; it’s just where they’re at. Instead of talking over them to get your point across (especially if they’re not open to hearing it), choose to listen and ask questions from a place of understanding, not ego.
5. Let go of the burden to learn about all.the.things.
You could make a full time job out of learning all the heavy topics on our plates right now! The good news: you don’t have to. In that new breathing space, start with one area that makes you feel the most.
Dive into that one thing. Learn about it. Talk about it. Maybe it’s not even one of the big topics in my short list at the top. Maybe it’s on a smaller and also important scale—like improving basic ADHD assessments for new-to-ADHD families (something I stand for).
Set a guideline for how much time you’ll dedicate to that one area each month / week / day. Little by little you’ll grow your “expertise” level and be able to contribute to the conversation from the inside, not from the outside looking in.
At that point, add other topics onto your plate.
Trying to tackle it all when you only have tiny pieces of information isn’t helpful. Giving up is even less helpful.
6. For the things you don’t know much about, seek experts who do.
Spend your time fueling them instead of arguing with the average Joe. Finding who to champion takes a little extra work up front. Research the key players in any given area and to do your own assessment to stand behind them or not. Start by asking your network. “Who do you listen to and trust on the topic of ___________ and why?” See what comes up.
Once you find those key players that you believe in, put their voice in the spotlight. Do what you can to fuel them. Share posts they’ve shared. Donate.
For example, I know nothing about how I can help stop sex trafficking. I love what Operation Underground Railroad is doing, so I’ve set up recurring donations to their organization from my business profits.
7. Be a Daymaker.
Make a daily or weekly or monthly (whatever you can do) goal to make someone’s day. Do this for strangers and for your friends & family. Send a card. Pick up the phone to someone you’ve lost touch with. Deliver lunch. Show up unexpectedly. Tell someone how you’ve noticed what they’re doing.
Tip: Use your personal stories to be a Daymaker for your friends & family. This ups the meaningful game big time! I teach you how in this.
8. Prioritize what brings you peace.
You can’t serve well from a place of madness and hasty reaction. Do what you can to return to your center, then act with intention. To return to your center, I’m not talking about your average “go for a walk” self-care. I’m talking: clear out any “unfinished business.”
My Tiny Story Society students have felt the pure fulfillment of slowing down and saying, “You matter, because _______,” to the people, places, and things in their lives.
No matter what’s going on with your personal goals or what’s going on in the world, acknowledging the tiny stories that make up and give your life meaning is cathartic.
It’s a way to feel complete and at peace when life is chaos and scary. We need to take care of this in order to fight our best fights.
Try those.
Report back.
Here’s to doing the best we can.
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